"I just want her to grow up somewhere that she has control over her own body"
The 8th of March 2017. Remember the date because it will be marked down in history as the day the Island of Ireland went on 'Strike 4 Repeal' of the 8th amendment.
It also happened to coincide with International Women's Day.
If you want to read more about why the people of Ireland went on strike Refinery 29 did a really informative article that can be found here and if you are interested and haven't read it yet I also wrote a blog post all about Abortion which can be found here.
At the strike I spoke with a grandmother who fought for contraceptive rights in the 70's and she couldn't believe she was still fighting for women's rights. Two mothers brought their children to help them fight for their future and their rights to bodily autonomy. This post is more for my own personal memories than anything else.
Below are photos from the Sligo Strike for Repeal protest in Strandhill and some quotes from an article that I wrote for a local paper. (Source: The Sligo Champion)
Denise O’Toole,
Convener of Repeal the 8th Sligo Abortion Rights campaign (ARC)
said: “We strike in full confidence of a Repeal of the eight; we declare the
right of the women of the Ireland to be trusted with decisions about their
bodies, their health and their lives. In every generation the Irish residents
have asserted their right to control their bodies, standing on that fundamental
right we proclaim the need for free, safe and legal abortion across the Island
of Ireland.”
Lorelei Fox-Roberts
brought her daughter along to the strike explaining the importance of involving
children at a young age: “I involved her because I don’t want her to be defined
and limited by this law too. I want her to grow up somewhere that she has
control over her body. I think it is important for her to see at a young age
that people can make a difference if they come out on the streets and stand up.”
Mary Nellany from
Cloonamahon also involved her children in the strike: “I’m finished having
children but I don’t want my daughters to die having a baby one day. Today is
for them so they can have a choice, so they can decide for themselves.”
A group of Sligo
Grandmothers said they turned up “to fight for women’s reproductive rights."
“We were in the fight
for contraception in the 70’s and we can’t believe we are still fighting today,
it shouldn’t be going on.” said Imelda Peppard from West Sligo.
Wendy Winter holding a
‘My body My Choice’ sign said was fighting for women’s Independence: “I think
women are not given enough credit for their intelligence and their sense of
personal responsibility. All the claims you hear about ‘if you legalise
abortion all women will be rushing off to have abortions’ is rubbish, it’s a
choice you make if you feel it is the right choice and in certain
circumstances. You should be allowed make that choice, sometimes it’s the
responsible choice to make.
“Women are treated like
second class citizens in this country. I am here to support women in this
country who have been fighting for so long to be heard, to be treated like
adults if not at least like free independent human beings.” added Wendy echoing the sentiments of many of those who attended the event.
It is a controversial topic: Abortion and everything that goes with it.
A taboo subject that not many are willing to talk about openly
It wasn't until recently when I had a conversation with a very brave woman who had an abortion that it really got me thinking about how little I knew on the subject and in reality how deep this topic goes, far beyond the initial abortion process.
I never spoke with someone who has had an abortion. Then again maybe I have and just didn't know, it's not like people wear a badge or look any different and for some its not something they want to shout from the rooftop. But it struck me how real the problem of accessing abortion is. I know it has been a problem for years I'm aware it is not ground breaking news, but sitting in front of me this woman told me her story and I finally had a face to one of the thousands of women who made and continues to make the decision to have an abortion. It made it more personal even though it hadn't happened to me.
38 women left Sligo in 2015 to avail of Legal Abortion services in the UK, according to Statistics given by the UK Department of Health and more than 3400 women made the trip to England to avail of Legal Abortion services in 2015.
Did you know that an abortion can cost anywhere from €500 to €1600 and that's not factoring in the price of travel? I was blown away by this cost. Call me naive or stupid if you want, but I just assumed that it cost a couple of hundred, €300 at max. Even abortion pills can cost anywhere from €500 and up.
I'm not sure where I am going with this blog post I just feel like I want to speak about this topic, something that has divided the country especially in the last few months.
Pro-choice, anti-choice, pro-abortion, anti-abortion, Pro-Life, Free safe legal, wherever you stand on the subject, whatever your views on the subject I feel like everyone should be informed on the matter: both sides of the argument. I asked a friend to go with me to a protest awhile ago and she answered me honestly saying she wasn't informed enough to go and I was glad she was honest enough to say it instead of jumping on a band wagon she was unfamiliar with.
Let me make one thing clear: I want women to be allowed to legally have abortions in Ireland.
I have always said that I personally would never have an abortion but I have no problem supporting another woman having one, whatever her reasons maybe. But since speaking with someone who has had an abortion it really threw me.
We hear of all these women that make the journey or sit at home and take the pills on their own and it got me thinking of the reality of what I would do if at 25 I happened to fall pregnant.
At the end of the day I can no longer honestly say I wouldn't have one.
As of right now my life is no were near ready for a baby, I can barely afford my own life never mind factoring in another human being. So if I got pregnant what would I do? It is a decision I hope I am never faced with but if I do it is sad to think that my country wouldn't support my decision of abortion if that was my wishes. I have a contraceptive implant in my arm but at the end of the day, pregnancy can happen no matter how careful you are as nothing is 100 percent.
I have heard a lot recently that 'oh yeah a woman should be allowed have an abortion if'......."if she gets raped, if the baby has fatal foetal abnormalities, if this, if that....."
But why do we have to have these if's and buts?
if a woman is raped and gets pregnant she should be allowed to have an abortion if she wishes. if a woman has sex, the condom rips and she gets pregnant she should be allowed to have an abortion if she wishes.
if a woman has sex, her contraceptive pill fails to work, she gets pregnant, she should be allowed to have an abortion if she wishes.
if a woman has sex, gets pregnant and she believes she can't economically afford to have a baby she should be allowed to have an abortion if she wishes.
if a woman who gets pregnant and simply does not want a baby then she should be allowed to have an abortion if she wishes.
if a woman wants an abortion, she should be allowed to have one regardless of the circumstances.
if a woman wants to do it, she should be allowed.
she should be allowed have an abortion if.she.wishes.
how can you say one woman is entitled to an abortion and another woman is not? this game of circumstances is a vicious one and something I had once fought the reason for repeal. I explained to family members 'but what if I got raped' when instead there should have been no but's or if's..
how about instead the simple statement should be 'what if I just don't want a baby'.
The Consequences
Protection of Life During Pregnancy Act, 2013: A person who is guilty of an offence under this section shall be liable on indictment to a fine or imprisonment for a term not exceeding 14 years, or both. VS Section 2 of the Criminal Law (Rape) (Amendment) Act 1990: sets out the law in Ireland on sexual assault. A sexual assault is an indecent assault on a male or a female. The maximum sentence is 10 years imprisonment or 14 years if the victim is aged under 17 years. If you look at these side by side both carry the same weight of sentence: 14 years for aborting a baby that let's say has been conceived by rape VS 14 years for the person causing the rape. how does it make sense. Both punished for a crime committed by one.
The following excerpt is from the Journal.ie in 2014 and you can read the full article here. This piece confirms that even if you are at risk to yourself, your own word is not enough and three people have to decide that for you: A veterinarian will abort a calf if a cow is falling ill. How is it that livestock is worth more to this land than us? (We Face This Land, 2016.)
The only exception is when there is a real and substantial risk to the life of the mother. This includes a risk arising from a threat ofsuicide. Three doctors – two psychiatrists and an obstetrician – must examine the woman and jointly decide that there is a risk to her life that can only be averted by a termination of the pregnancy, having regard to the need to preserve unborn human life.
One of the psychiatrists is seen first. If he/she believes the woman’s condition “satisfies the requirement of the Act”, then she will see the second psychiatrist who must agree with the first if an obstetrician is to become involved.
The Health Service Executive said it can ensure this process happens in a “timely manner”.
It is illegal in Ireland to have an abortion in the case of lethal foetal abnormality. It is also illegal to carry out an abortion in cases of rape and incest. (Journal.ie, 2014.)
When it comes down to the nitty, gritty details and root of why people are so against abortion, its quiet clear isn't it? this isn't always about the un-born child, this is about the sense of control that the state, the churches and men have executed what they believe is their right over women, their bodies and their reproductive organs, something that has been happening for centuries: a violation of our human rights.
The phrase, 'well don't have sex if you don't want to get pregnant' or 'keep your legs shut' is the response I heard time and time again from people who I believe are living a very 'mundane, un-realistic, self-righteous, holier than-thou lifestyle.'
please stop shaming woman and girls for being sexual when all our lives and most likely for the rest of our lives you think you can control and continue to sexualize us.
Why do people not believe that we as women and people can make the right decision for our bodies and our life? Why in 2017 are we STILL having to fight for the freedom of our own bodies and what we chose to do with them.
The guardian did a study where they found that 95% of women who had abortions believed it was the right decision.
Speaking with the woman who openly and confidently told me about her abortion story, she told me about dealing with regret and abortion, the following statement is from her submission to the Citizens Assembly 2016.
"Most women/people don't regret their abortions some are happy, relieved, a hundred emotions all at one, but what if I or anyone did regret for a minute, a day, a fleeting week, a torturous year?
"No one owns regret. It's an emotion.
"The anti-choice side seem to think its a golden key to the abortion debate that they hold in their imaginary superior moral battleground where they are the schoolyard bullies. If one of these anti-choice women who now regrets her abortion so much does then fine, but don't be such a hypocrite to do what you want then tell every other pregnant person what they can or cannot do."
I have read both sides of the argument, I have been attached online by 'Anti-Choice, Pro-Life' keyboard warrior campaigners and I have heard stories first hand of women who on their own made their choice to live their life the way the choose. I am aware I will probably get a torrent of abuse about this online also.
But before you rip apart someone else's opinion, be informed, have some compassion and maybe put yourself in the shoes of all the thousand of woman, wives, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, nieces, cousins, friends, enemy's, colleagues and girls that are forced to travel every year, every week and every day, looking for fair medical treatment on other land after being rejected and punished by our own country. Don't believe its an easy decision for women to make, it's not but for some it is the only decision and it shouldn't be decided by anyone other than them.
'We Face this land'
by Sarah Maria Griffen
Centuries ago women accused of witchcraft faced,
Amongst other ordeals, trial by water Tied to a chair or run under a boat If she survives the drowning and floats she’s a witch. If she dies, she’s a woman We are not witches but if the church and state insist
Then let us be the descendants of all the witches they could not drown
This heirloom of trauma, this curse
This agony of water in order to hold agency over our bodies
Not all of us have survived, the waves do not part
There are no miracles here
When a stethoscope is a crucifix on your belly
How do you have any choice but the water
And fair medical treatment on other shores
A body is a body is a body is a body is a body is a body is a body
Not a house. Not a city. Not a vessel, not a country
The laws of the church have no place on your flesh
A veterinarian will abort a calf if a cow is falling ill.
How is it that livestock is worth more to this land than us?
Eleven women every day leave Ireland seeking an abortion abroad.
We ask for the land over the water. Home over trial. Choice over none.
For our foremothers, for ourselves, the generations yet to come
Witches or women, these are our bodies which shall not be given up.
x
*This post does not suggest that anyone should get an abortion, this is a post in reference to my support on Repealing the 8th amendment of the Constitution in Ireland. All views are my own*
For more information or to talk to a professional on the matter please see:
www.positiveoptions.ie
When I was in Limerick for my Masters there were no beaches close by and anytime I was at home I would make a burst towards the sea.
I'm from South Sligo and my heart has always been in Strandhill, it has been my favourite beach in Sligo. You can see some of my posts that I've done before here, here and here!
That was until the other day.
I'm ashamed to say I had never been to Streedagh beach, Grange in North Sligo, it's a beach I never knew existed let alone ventured too and I can't believe what I've been missing out on.
I can't wait for the weather to get warmer and I plan on visiting it many more times in the next few months.
Fortunately for me I was 'working' while I got to take in these views, not a bad job eh?
Next we took off to the sleepy sea side town of Mullaghmore.
I've never experienced something like it, it was so quiet and calm.
So spring is definitely here and I'm loving the blue skies as I walk around town, just don't forget to look up now and then, the buildings in Sligo are extremely pretty.
All photos taken my me on Iphone SE & Canon 1200D with this being said I find my Iphone pictures looked far better than the Canon ones, so never underestimate the power of a phone camera with the right lightening you can take great pictures! ^ (the above photo has been edited no filter)
It's soon about to be a New Year and this marks the last blog post of 2016!
I'm going to set myself some goals for this year so that on January 1st 2018 I can look back and see what I have or have not achieved (here's hoping I've ticked them all off.)
When New Years looms around each year I usually tend to avoid it; not just the night out and counting down to 12 but the whole idea of celebrating a New year because usually I'm mourning the loss of one. But for once in my life I am excited for what the New Year has to bring; the night out and all, it's the first year in a long long time that I haven't been working and even though I'll be surrounded by my friends who are all in couples, it's time to to grab the new year by the reigns and sure the Jager bomb in my hand will have to suffice as a kiss come midnight! It's been a rough year for the world and I don't think I need to mention what low's there was as each and every one of us watched a number of them unfold, but here's to the new year.
Good bye sweet '16.
Fitness: It wouldn't be a "New Year, New Me" blog post without jumping on the fitness band wagon, but in all seriousness I am sick of having a hate/hate relationship with my body. I have struggled the last number of months with my weight, I'm not sure what happened (food happened sinead and lot's of it) I just couldn't get control, but I'm finally getting my ass in gear. I know I can do it and I'm actually looking forward to making it happen. With my best friends wedding looming in August, I don't fancy being rolled down the aisle beside 3 other bridesmaids and more importantly even I want to get fitter for my own health and I need to ditch this bad path I'm headed down ASAP. I want to look back on my 20's and think yes I was happy with my shape and not regret it. So watch this space I'm sure I'll document my progress at some stage.
Moving Out: Not so much a big step, it's not like I've never done it before, but it is something I have wanted to do for a while since I moved back from Limerick to Sligo in September. While I am grateful for my parents help and my aunts help I need to make this next step for my own sanity if nothing else. So making FA money and paying rent, I don't know how I'll do it. But I need a space I can call my own, instead of living out of a suitcase (Dramatic much Sinéad?). I've moved into a space along with two other crazy cats and I can't wait to see where it goes, even though both of them will be leaving me for Australia in a few months, but we'll cross that bridge when it comes to it.
Moving Away: Possibly one of the biggest steps I will (hopefully) make towards the end of this year. The Graduate Visa is something that has been on my mind since I finished college in 2013. I never bothered attempting to make the move until I had my masters done, so fast forward 3 years later in 2016 with my Masters completed, I'm giving myself until roughly September 2017 to make the big move stateside. Location: "New York, New York, it's a hell of a town." The dream of being a fashion Journalist is something I've had on my mind for quiet a while. So with several months left ahead of me I hope to gain as much experience in my local paper and doing freelance work. I'm aware of how hard New York will be, and how expensive. I do realise I am not Blair Waldorf, nor do I aspire to leave on the Upper East Side swanning around like Serena Van Der Woodsen but it's my first and last chance to give it a go and I'm willing to slum it in the big bad New York world to make it happen.
Career Goals: This is going to be a tough, but fun one. The reason why I am so desperate to go to America is so when I move back home I will have some serious (fingers crossed) experience under my belt and on my CV. So the next few months before I even leave I want to smash a few goals, and one of those includes starting a fashion series on my blog. There are so many blogs out there now with some serious great content and I know there is a lot of work involved. It is something I have wanted to do for the last year but in all honesty I have never had the balls to do. Yes terrified of what people would think of me plus the fact I dress pretty causal most of the time. But it is something I have wanted to do for so long, and I'm working on changing that and hoping to start it up this year. It's been four years that I have spent writing in this blog and not much has ever come of it, I plan on being more consistent, better content, better photography and regular uploads to help get this blog where I want it to be. So that is going to involve me being organised in 2016 I had only 25 blog posts, that is roughly on average of two post a month which was a bit of a fail on my behalf. So here's to the next 12 months and hopefully doubling the work load blog wise. Work wise I plan on doing more freelance work to broaden my CV and to learn as much as I can from working in my local paper. It's an exciting year and I can't wait for it to start.
Hobbies: Investing in a new hobbie; photography. I love the feel of a camera in my hands and I just want to take as many photos in 2017 as a possibly can. First off: Buy a camera Secondly: Learn how to use it properly. Running is also a new hobbie, while I know it may seem like a strange one, but after spending 8 weeks doing couch to 5K I found that I enjoyed the social aspect of running every Wednesday and can't wait to start it again next week and see how far I progress in 6 weeks!
So whatever you spend tonight doing, with loved ones, friends or families, or even on your own (me last year thanks to work), know that whatever bad things have happened in 2016, they are going to be left behind. It's a new year and at the rate these years are flying by we need to make the most of them.
I have so many dreams for 2017 and I plan on making it the best year yet. Make sure to watch this space, you haven't seen anything yet!
x
[All photos belong to me unless otherwise stated.]
The title sounds bleak. I sound like a heartless, single, man-hating woman.
I'm not though but if I was I would have good reason to be.
If you want to know more of why I am a cynical single lady you can read all about it here.
Anyway here I am once again, back to talk about the dreaded app.
Tinder. Delete it. get rid of it. burn it. keep away from it. if you are newly single and want to have fun, then be my guest but do.not. I REPEAT, DO NOT go in there expecting to find the love of your life because you wont get out alive.
Anyway back to the title, romance; yes to me it is dead or it's actually lost on the men (and I use this term loosely) of tinder.
I'm not expecting to be showered in a thousand roses, or bloody flown to France.
All I am asking for is a simple conversation. I expect at the very least one or two questions before I'm bombarded with "sure I'll come over to your house".
Um no thank you Mr.Stranger my parents live there and even if they didn't you wouldn't be getting in.
So when my answer didn't turn out how he anticipated: UNMATCHED.
Yes you read that right. unmatched.
Am I insulted? No. Does it make me question my answer? Hell no.
But is this how every conversation is going to turn out, if I don't agree to you coming over to my house 5 messages in, are you going to un-match me off the bat.
How about having a real conversation and judge me off that instead? it's not that hard and I'm not looking to bloody marry someone off the app, but at the very least I expect a proper conversation for a few messages before you ultimately remind me that you are a creep only looking for the ride.
And yes I know people are on there looking for one thing, and one thing only but Christ maybe you put the smallest bit of effort in and you might get somewhere with anyone. Toolbag.
*que next creep*
"If I was a cat I would spend all my 9 lives with you"
Seems like a normal enough guy can excuse him for the cheesy opening line, so I hit him back with some absolute top quality banter and a GIF or two.
"Are you a tower because Eiffel for you"
Okay two cheesy lines I can forgive him for that, what you got next buddy.
"Have you ever played titanic?"
You mean jumped off a boat with thousands of other people drowning in the middle of the Atlantic um no mate.
"How about you be the iceberg and I go down"
Needless to say I didn't reply to that, instead I was curious to know had that line EVER worked on a girl to which he replied: "No but I feel like I have to keep trying"
what. is. wrong. with. lads. my. age.
If you want to put a face to the story you can follow him on Instagram here.
So I know what your thinking why Sinéad do you continue to torture yourself with use this useless app if all you get are guys looking for the ride?
Well for banter simply and to see what other stories I can get out of it. HA.
So any horror stories from your tinder experiences?
He must think I’m stupid. How can I even
ignore it for the night, the smell of it makes me physically sick.
I sit there and nod as he tells me some story about his work, slurring his words.
GET OUT NOW....A silent voice in my head screams.
MAYBE HE’LL CHANGE....I silently scream back.
But who am I trying to fool. He needs help and I
need to realise that he isn’t going to change for me
no matter how many times I
beg.
I look back at him concentrating on what he is
trying to say. I drink in every inch of his face.
The only good thing was that I was never in love with him I wouldn't allow myself. I
don’t think I ever could be in love with someone who has put me through so much
heartache.
SO WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? the voice silently screams at me
again.
All the memories come flooding back like someone is
playing a video in my mind.
The time he smashed our front door, when he kissed
someone else, finding the bottles hidden under my bed and in the bathroom, our
holiday when he was so close to hitting me but smashed the room up instead.....
All the feelings wash over me: sadness, regret, the
feeling of being scared, heartbreak, loneliness.
What will my mother say?
What will my friends say? or do they already know? Am I a push over?
Doesn’t he seeing he’s ruining this? We could be happy. I'm too young for this I shouldn't have to deal with it.
I always thought I was a strong character before I met him and that if anyone treated me badly then I would be able to walk away from
it all.
But when it’s happening to you it’s much harder.
I’m not in love with him, but clearly I care for
him.
Where are you going? I ask him as he stands up
swaying slightly.
Bed he replies as his eyes roll in his head.
My
bedyou mean. Go home to your own house
is what I want to tell him, that I can’t stand the
thought of lying next to him
when he’s in this state.
I don’t have it in me to argue and I know it’s better
to give in. What if he went home and drank even more, at least I can keep an eye
on him here.
As I follow him into the room he’s asleep in
seconds, alcohol fumes fill my room.
I lie down beside him not wanting to touch him. Flinching as he wraps his arm around me.
I stifle a cry and another night of fitful sleep
ensues.
Dreams turn into nightmares and the nightmare
continues as I open my eyes and see him beside me.
