The Corona Chronicles - should I stay or should I go now?

There is not one person in the world right now who needs an introduction to that damn virus so I won't bore you with it. 

So where do I even begin?

This day two weeks ago was my last day at work for the foreseeable future, at the time I naively thought that I would be back to work in two weeks.  Boy was I wrong.

Today is March 31^st 2020 and at the time of hitting publish on this blog post in the United States there are currently 166,214 cases with 3,192 of those resulting in death (Worldometers Info).  New York is currently the epicenter of this pandemic: 67,325 cases with 1,342 resulting in death (Worldometer Info by state). Even as I type this it is getting further updated and I can't keep up. 

   

As you can imagine it is pandemonium - not just here but every corner and crevice of the world. 

                

The melting pot that was once bustling with millions of tourists, New Yorkers and those who wish they were is now a silent eerie drum of the unknown.

It is a scary time in New York as well as the rest of the world and not a day goes by in this quarantine where don't I sit in my tiny New York apartment and think - this isn't real, this can't be happening. But then I am quickly brought crashing down to earth as my phone sends me another virus update that yes, this is real, also it's a Tuesday you should be at work?

Things that I once craved and wished for on my busiest days at work are now at my leisure (but with more restriction's in place) and while I selfishly say it has been a treat to have extra time to watch that Netflix show I've been putting off, cook meals that I've always been 'too busy' to make and go for walks at any time of the day; the cabin fever is slowly but surely setting in. Yesterday I also had to say goodbye to a friend from 6 feet away which was a very surreal experience that I never in my wildest dreams would imagine happening and put me in a very weird funk. 

I have devoured numerous pieces of literature and opinion pieces surrounding New York and this crisis so forgive me for forgetting the source but I read that 'New York was not built to be empty' and it couldn't ring more true. 

Grand Central Terminal - March 22nd 2020 - Photograph Sinead Healy 

My body aches for a bustling New York again - sirens blaring, horns beeping, people moving in 17 million different directions every hour of every day. Crowded streets, the screeching of the subway tracks as it enters a station, the man on the corner of West 41st and 7th who makes music by hitting upside empty buckets, the halal guys on ever corner, the subway musicians, the tourists standing in the middle of the street as you rush to work - yes I even miss the tourists. 

Each day in New York brings with it a constant adventure - you never know who you'll meet or how your day could end. Day's off or as I like to call them - My New York days brings with them endless possibilities - you could start them by having coffee by yourself in a quiet borough of the city and then end it in a dive bar somewhere in alphabet city after you went to see a show that your friend of a friend got free tickets for. 

The constant hum that escapes from the concrete walls of New York city, that IS New York city has been silenced - you can hear a pin drop and something about that just doesn't sit right.  

The walls no longer shake with the flow of heavy traffic on 21st street here in Astoria they now just house my millions of thoughts as they bounce off the four corners of my bedroom walls. Sirens that you once became accustom too now freeze you in fear as you wonder what poor person has fallen ill to this god forsaken virus.  

So should I stay or should I go? 

I've had aunts, cousins, friends and old co workers write to me and ask me, and TELL me that I should move home and while I'm grateful for the concern I'm also a bit annoyed. At the minute going home isn't an option as I've built a life here in my new 'home' and my job that I love is here, my friends are here and I honestly don't think my mental health would survive Ireland right this minute. I never once considered going home - my parents are both in their 60's so going home and possibly infecting them was never an option. My brother and his wife have three kids with a new born on the way so staying with them would never be an option. So keep in mind that before you bombard your friends abroad with messages to come home because it just might not be a viable option. 

It's a weird weird time in the world but I'm grateful I have isolation buddies to keep me sane through this all - even if if does result in all of us killing each other over card games and heads up.      

I hope wherever you are in the world you're safe and healthy. 

It's shit for now but we'll get through it. 

I miss my family, I miss my friends and I miss MY New York - BUT we'll get back to them once regular programming resumes. 

So stay inside and wash yo hands and be thankful for everyone that is working to make this all better!

Adios from a very quiet Sinead in a very quiet New York,  

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